If Sammy Could Speak

Lately theres been alot of hullaballoo over freeing Sammy the Shark, from newspaper campaigns to statements from the interior ministry. even peta is now advocating for the shark's release. Frankly, until now I didnt really care much for sammy. but since my inbox has been flooded with facebook invites to 'free sammy the shark' groups, ive decided this nonsense has gone long enough.

firstly such groups on facebook are as useful as a third tit on a pitbull. i mean if they accomplished anything, i would have long since joined a group on the lynching of samuel l.jackson. and jon voight too. *sigh.

why anyone would want sammy freed, i know not. i know sharks are endangered and all. but, so what ? life seems to be going on perfectly without dinosaurs and dodos. there are the odd one or two child molestations by roman priests every now and then. but i doubt the two are related.

am i the only one who remembers jaws ? beaches and pools are a different story, that series had me scared shitless enough to even stop taking bubble baths. and yes, i took bubble baths as a kid. or perhaps i grew enough sense to realise that wallowing in a pool of my own filth wasnt really the way to go. either way id like to think that 10ft great whites had some role to play.

well thats my two cent on the matter. i wonder what sammy would say if he could speak. then again if he could talk, they would never let him out. anywho this is what i think he would say:

set me free, sweet human being
under the deep blue sea we shall swim
there'll be no sorrow, there'll be no pain
feelings of joy will fill your brain

set me free, oh mortal
we shall swim together to heaven's portal
leave your fears ashore, leave them behind
forget the troubles of your kind

swim with me, yes stay within my sight
now hold still, its no good to fight
i'll bite off your leg and leave you dying
didnt you realise all this while i could be lying ?

in short, that Free Willy shit doesnt happen in real life !