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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Chicken Humor

riddled with insect bites that would put hickeys to shame, im not really in the mood to work on a new post. so i thought id just recycle some material already circulating interweb. i did have to cut the original piece down. you can catch the whole thing at http://www.infiltec.com/j-chick2.htm

why did the chicken cross the road ??

plato: for the greater good.

aristotle: to fulfill its nature on the other side

karl marx: it was a historical inevitability

hippocrates: because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas

albert einstein: whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference

aristotle: to actualise its potential

budda: if you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature

darwin: it was the logical next step after coming down from the trees

nietzsche: because if you gaze too long across the road, the road gazes also across you

ralph waldo emerson: it didnt cross the road, it transcended it

oliver north: national security was at stake

emily dickenson: because it could not stop for death

ernset hemingway: to die. in the rain

saddam hussein: this was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it

jack nicholson: 'cause it fucking wanted to. thats the fucking reason

and to end with my own personal spin:
asif zardari: that chicken is very gorgeous. can i hug her ?


6 comments:

Songwriter F Space said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Songwriter F Space said...

I have to say, you spoiled it a bit by putting the Zardari spin on it. I was imagining all those philosophers pondering the sagely ramifications of a chicken's act and pop! In comes Zardari with his teethy smile and a V sign.
Disgusting!

Ranting Panda said...

i couldnt help myself. i had to put zardari in :P

Lhjunkie said...

Methinks the Zardari quote was awesome.

I was disappointed that there wasn't a Sartre quote, but I saw it was there in the link you provided, so I'm not holding it against you.

Anonymous said...

i was disappointed there wasn't a samuel l jackson quote. but i think you can easily imagine how that would have gone.

Ranting Panda said...

well heres what sam jackson would have said: fuck the chicken. How did these motherfucking snakes get on this motherfucking plane !!