Why Cant Bad Be Good ?

ok so howcome everything is harmful to you these days ? tv, food, videogames, drugs, sex- anything fun that is. just the other night they were having this discussion on the radio about bacteria that can and do get onto your phone and how that can fuck your ear up. wtf ?!! its like the only thing you can do without having to worry about dying is going outside and sitting in a field or something. but then again, with the whole ozone layer depletion and green-house gas scenario, sitting outdoors would kill you too. what the heck..i say live fast and die young. that way you'll atleast leave a good looking corpse behind.


and what about all this talk banning the use of ipods and other mp3 players while on the street (well atleast in the west) because they make you less observant to the world and tend to make you more anti-social. and all this after some woman got hit by a bus while crossing the road with her ipod on. im sorry, but if you cant see a big red bus coming towards you, then youre just plain stupid. i mean, isnt the whole point of an mp3 player to get lost in your own world of music ? to block out the outside world and to have some time to yourself. ok, also to pretend not to notice annoying friends. hmm ok maybe it does make a tad anti-social. but who cares !

basically what im getting at is howcome i cant try something without having to face any life threatening consequences. like what if i want to try ecstasy ? it sure looks like fun in the movies. and so what if i end up grooving to techno music, waving a glowstick around for 12 hours..thats just the icing on the cake ! but do i really have to worry about convulsions, seizures and eventually dying in pool of my own sweat and piss ?

or how about just having sex all day long ? it sure looks like fun (or so i would think) and its a great way to burn off calories while staying indoors. 'oh honey, i shouldnt have had that last piece of cake. its gonna go straight to my ass''dont worry baby. i help you burn it off ' uh-uh !

so why cant i just have plain, meaningless sex, without having to worry about mini-me turning all purple and bloated and eventually falling off ?


and ive noticed that its not just things that are bad for you, but people as well. no one tells you to stay away from the person who teaches high school mathematics and also volunteers at the local animal shelter. no, its always the fun people youre to stay away from.
like just before leaving for college, my parents asked me to stay from sex, drugs and druggies..the usual spheel every adolescent kid gets to hear before heading off to college. ok so i didnt smoke pot. but occasionally i hung around people who did. now how could i not hang out with those guys ? they always had great snack ideas. and if youre low on cash, its a good group to hang out with for a free meal. i mean if all your friends are stoned, just start talking about cheese pizzas, double whoppers and ice cream sundaes. you'll soon be on your way to snack heaven !! sure, most of those guys failed all their courses, got kicked out of university and ended up with jobs handing out promotional fliers. but thats besids the point.


why cant snorting lines of cocain in the washroom of a club be considered a 'healthy lifestyle' ? similarly why cant having oatmeal bread (which tastes like dried crap) give you nasty stomach ulcers ?
i love eating cookies. why cant i eat a dozen cookies straight for a week and end up with 6-pack abs ?
i fricking hate spinach. thats as tasty as licking a bottle of iodine (fuck you popeye !). why cant spinach be bad for me ?

this is all thanks to the information age, where you can look up almost anything on google. we need to lay off all this technology and go back to being ignorant. afterall, isnt ignorance bliss ? isnt that how people lived before bill gates came along with his fancy personal computer ?
just take a look at the 18th and early 19th century. smoking was not only considered cool, but it also helped with your digestion. drinking alcohol at all times of the day was the norm. hell even drinking and driving was socially acceptable. and you could hump almost anything with legs. the only thing youd have to worry about was the black death. but we all have to die one day, so why not go with a bang ?!!