needing to desperately tear away from the books, i decided to put on the latest indy jones movie, kingdom of the crystal skull. and what a disappointment that turned out to be. its been 20 odd years since we last saw indy in the last crusade. and since then all indy's managed to do is go from fighting the nazis to fighting the russians. wow, talk about story development !
with harrison ford being well into his 60's shouldnt the only thing hes fighting be arthritis and high blood pressure ?
anywho, back to the movie plot. but wait a tick, theres not much there to go. i guess thats why george lucas thought he could get away with stealing scenes from the previous indy movies. it honestly makes you feel like youre at a paper recycling plant.
ok so, like every other indy movie, theres talk about an ancient temple hidden somewhere deep in a jungle. now thats doesnt sound too bad, you say.
alright then, theres the crystal skull. sounds menacing enough. yeah but thats about all the skull does. sound menacing. now you'd expect the skull to have some deadly power like setting everyones head on fire or melting the skin of their genitalia. well the only thing special about that damn skull is that its highly magnetic.
what the fuck ?!! thats as scary as a bowl of oatmeal.
i would have been happy if they atleast tried to make the skull look scary. no luck there either for all it looks like is some cheap plastic halloween decoration.
but its the next bit that left me as confused as a hungry baby at a topless bar. the whole plot is tied together by dead aliens. yes, aliens ! what is this, national treasure meets e.t. ?
from the looks of it all, george lucas thought that tossing in some half-assed action sequences every now and then would distract you long enough to stop you from thinking. well yeah that would have worked if only theyd used some new material.
does indy risk life and limb getting something out of a temple only to find jack booted bad guys waiting at the exit for him so that they can take his prize?
yeps. just like in the last 3 movies.
hungry cannibal chase scenes ?
oh yeah ! afterall what indy movie is complete without cannibals ?
how about a fight scene on a convoy of moving trucks full of enemy soliders ? surely thats not been done before...
yeah it hasnt, only if you havent seen the earlier indys.
now surely they wouldnt dare recycle in the part at the end where some idiot accidently triggers some artifact only to have himself and the other baddies obliterated. but only once indy and his posse get out spot-free...
umm yeah thats there too.
fuck !
watching this movie is like having sex with your girlfriend on the hood of your wife's car while your wife is honking the horn- sounds pretty damn exciting (well atleast title wise), but not much fun.
with star wars episode I and II and now kingdom of the crystal skull, its safe to say that george lucas is no stranger when it comes to disappointing fans with bringing back long-dormant franchises.
boy, this is a long one.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I am looking forward to watching the classic Indy movies this Friday on Showtime. Did you watch it at the cinema? I did a long while back and thought it was... alright.
yeah i saw it at the cinema when it first came out. turned out to be quite a disappointment.
and then i saw it again yesterday. but you know the good thing ? when you watch it a second time, indy and the skull actually become good friends
Yeah, I think George Lucas needs to hang it up and go herd sheep somewhere.
george lucas and spielberg RAPED indiana jones, star wars.
i cant wait the sequel of E.T, where E.T. comes back for a quickie with spielbergs illegitimate son, Shia LeBeouf
Post a Comment