ok so cell phones have officially replaced sports cars as the 'hey, look at me !' item, especially for guys. i'll admit its way cheaper to buy the blackberry storm than a ferrari, but they both pretty much mean the same thing- youre a douche ! and more the functions your cell phone has, the bigger the douche you are. lets see..:
pda: ok so this has got to be one of the most useless options available on a phone and is used by guys who think they are players. well if you were really a player, you would have an actual human assistant, not a digital one !
gps: you being lost in the first place only confirms you being a douche !
built-in games: theres no pride in gloating abt the 2 games pre-programmed into your cell phone. the fact that you cant shell out for a psp and have to rely crap like tetris to entertain yourself just proves youre a grade-a douche.
voice recognition dialing: i have yet to see a voice recognition dialing system that dials the correct contact on the first attempt. and belieive me, nothing screams out 'douce alert !' louder than a person yelling in public at his phone 'call maria, not saira..i said to call maria !!!' (true story..)
having all these functions on your cell phone is just like fitting your old nissan sunny with spoilers, side skirts and neon lights. and using all these features in public is just like walking around in a mall wearing sweat bands on your wrists, a toque and sunglasses, with your pants resting gingerly on your ass-crack, showing the world just how big of a douche you really are.
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2 comments:
i disagree with the gps
i love it, all i had to do was enter the address, and i got turn by turn direction for a 3 hour drive
thats a lot better than fumbling over a 3 year old map with coffee stain and orange with cheetos
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson55.html
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