Just Dance !

ok so i dont know if its just me, but dancing really seems to be in these days. you've got 'dance-reality' shows on tv like so you think you can dance and dancing with the stars, and these shows always rake in huge ratings. even on 'talent-reality' shows, dance acts seem to do really well with the audience and judges alike. so that has got me thinking about the power of dance and maybe its something that i need to embrace wholeheartedly, seeing as how already i am all dance and no belly.

letting these thoughts molest my mind for a bit, i am now convinced that all the problems and troubles in the world will go away if i just dance. my problems, not yours mind you. afterall isnt that how it is in the movies ? and hollywood certainly wouldnt lie to us like that, with all those movies being based on REAL life stories. for all you skeptics out there, i took the liberty of researching the validity of my claim about the link between dancing and problems. heres what i found :

dirty dancing: dancing helps a rich, daddy's girl and a camp dance instructor get out of an illegal abortion scenario, escape burglary charges and end up together in the end, despite their vastly differing backgrounds.

you got served: after getting served (as the title rightly suggests), dancing helps two best friends get back together after a rift, get over the drive-by death of one of their friends, win $50,000, get the opportunity to star in a lil kim video and serve the dance crew who initially served them. oh and one of the leads also ends up with his best friends sister. wow, now thats gotta be one of a dance !

step up: dancing brings a troublemaking street dancer and a privileged modern dancer together to perform a routine that could change their lives for the better. dancing also helps the guy get the girl in the end.

and lets not forget zoolander, where breakdance-fighting helps prevent the assassination of the prime-rib of micronesia.

all this just tells me that there is no problem that dance cant fix. got a final tomorrow that you havent studied for ? no problem. just dance in front of your class and see your professor give you an A. about to lose your job due to the economic crisis ? march right up to your boss's office and break into a 10 minute dance sequence. not only will you get promoted rather than being fired, but youll now also have stock options. about to be dumped by your girfriend ? just dance and not only will she never break up with you but she'll also offer to do all your laundary.

if only we could harness the super-awesome power of dance, we'd be able to solve all our problems. imagine a world with no disease, hunger, terrorism and a limitless supply of gummi bears. awesome !! so whenever life seems to be bearing down on you, break out that leotard and just dance !

Candy Makes Me Happy

ok so im tired of every other person coming up to me and whining about their life and problems. im sick hearing how any person who doesnt accept your friend request on facebook is stupid or gay and how everything just blows. i realise that at times things dont go your way and that life can just be a bitch. but lack of new friends to stalk on facebook or speeding fines are hardly anything to complain about. i mean if you come off as a creep on social networking websites or if you drive like lindsay lohan jacked up on cocaine, then its really you whose at fault. if you really wanna throw a tantrum about something, make sure its something any of fucking relevance, like samuel l jackson !

personally, my secret to happiness is candy. any kind will do. hand me a jumbo pack of m&m's and good for the next hour or so. it has also been pointed out to me that at times i bitch and moan about random things, so ive decided to lead by example. yes, its true, im going to enjoy all the crapiness in the world. and just to prove it, heres a list of a few things that will make me happy:

celebrity gossip (magazines): ofcourse i want to know which of the jonas brothers' is gay ? and i certainly want to know which celebrity has shaved off his/her head after coming off a 4 day bender.

brown bread: its healthy and tastes just like dry grass. AWESOME !!

energy drinks: pssht ! whats one more thing to remind me that i need help in getting the basic daily tasks done.

dane cook: anyone whose comedy routine involves going on about how women lie while drinking kool-aid is amazing. period.

twilight: a vampire movie with no sex and violence ? sign me up for the sequel !

orange popsicles: one word- YUMMERS !

coldplay: so what all their songs sound the same? why waste time listening to the entire album, when just one song will do. thats time management at its peak. abso-fucking-lutely genius !!

modern day pirates: sure they might not use cutlasses and sing and make merry late into the night, but they sure try hard. and thts all that matters, damnit !

samuel l jackson: all he wants to know if how those motherfucking snakes got on the plane and how to kill them. give the guy a break !

nicolas cage: im glad he has taken all this acting ability and focused on making one movie for the rest of his career. the type where hes in a race against time, he needs to get to the truth, hes on his own and no one believes him and a bunch of explosions happen. thats brilliant ! who wants to go to the movies and waste brain cells trying to figure out complicated movie plots ? not me !

american idol: all those kids want to do is sing their hearts out, and make simon happy. come on !

ok, who the fuck am i kidding here ? all the above suck harder than a hooker working the las vegas strip ! now, wheres that pack of m&m's ?