Ive LOST My Sanity

sometimes in life you just have to go with it. it might be eating a nice big plate of bull testicles when in china, or maybe it’s making out with a fat chick so that your buddy can score with her hot friend, or maybe it’s just turning off your brain and enjoying abc's lost. for thats exactly wht you need to do, turn your brain off, if you want to get through the show.

for those not aware of the show, it follows the lives of a bunch of people stranded on a tropical island. ok so the plot seems pretty interesting. and with a bunch of people trapped on an island, you'd certainly expect them hop on the good foot and do the bad thing, like bunnies. or so i'd hoped. but if you thought not having crazy orgies by beach was weird, wait till the polar bear shows up. yes, a polar bear on a TROPICAL island! what the fuck, right??!

and what about that crazy cloud of black smoke that tore mr.eko from limb to limb..where it did come from, where did it go (where did it come from cotton-eye joe) (8)...well i know where it went: right into m.night shyamalan's 'the happening'.

and dont even get me started on all the flash-backs and the flash-forwards. or on the fact that after whining for 5 seasons about wanting to get off the island and successfully doing so, the lead characters now just want to go back. sheesh, i haven’t been so confused about a story since i watched that tourette’s syndrome film about the stuttering albanian donkey that juggles fish.

now i could go on about the shortcomings of the show (like how the entire island is now moving back and forth through time..), but i thought it would be easier if i just listed a few idiosyncrasies of some of the lead characters. a character guidebook, if you may..

john locke: 'i used to be a paraplegic, but now i can run, jump and dance. ive been shot multiple times in the stomach, the gut, the leg, stabbed a few times here and there, fallen of trees and even a cliff but i just wont die. im the real jack baur. oh yeah!'

ben linus: ' im just doing what jacob wants me to do! '
' pull that lever, john. thats what jacob wants you to do! '
' where are you going? thats not what jacob asked you to do! '
' jacob! jacob! jacob! '

jack: ' im not your leader. i dont want to be the leader. i never asked to be the leader. now you,
go get some dry wood for the fire. you, go get some fish. you, see if you can kill a boar. i'll
just sit here and mentally molest kate, all the while giving sawyer the evil eye. '

sawyer: ' are you guys gonna look for food? ok, lemme take my shirt off! '
' hey! why am i tied up in this cage? fine, i'll just take my shirt off! '
' i say we attack the 'others' now. lemme just take my shirt off! '
' blah blah blah..lemme just take my shirt off! '

kate: ' ooo jack looks so hot. lemme make out with him a bit. '
' is that sawyer with his shirt off? lemme go and make out with him. '
' jack just saved that guys life. i think i'll go make out with him. '
' oh sawyer is acting like such a jackass. i think i'll go make out with him. '

sayid: ' my name is sayid jarrah, and i am a torturer. '

desmond: ' hello, brotha! '
' you alright, brotha!? '
' i have to flip that switch 500 times in 110 seconds, brotha! '
' you're gonna die, brotha! '
' brotha! '

p.s. its good to be back!