*sparkle* Robsessed *sparkle sparkle*

ok so easter is just around the corner- a time for candy, skimpy bunny costumes and kids. yayyy!! thank god this holiday isnt illegal. although i could do without the kids bit.

speaking of things that should be illegal, robert pattinson is a name that certainly comes to mind. why this joker is still around, i have no idea. how he became a celebrity is even more baffling to me.

his acting skills are non-existent. i know he was in one or two of the potter movies, but they killed him off because he sucked. i mean you must be really bad if harry's odd, goofy ginger sidekick has starred in more movies than you.

and then there are the twilight movies. all he really does is mope around for 90 minutes and then sparkle in the sun for a few seconds towards the climax. i know he's stuck as a teenager but he's supposed to be 300 years old. stop being an emotional, suicidal teen and act your age, goddamnit!!

so acting skills are out, how about looks ?

well when you hear the word, “celebrity”, you think of glamorous, clean cut, put together people like george clooney, john stamos, johnny depp. you definitely don’t think of them looking like they’re homeless. homeless, thats exactly what robert pattinson looks like with his oily, scruffy hair and a look of dumb-fuck on his face. i honestly think he's on the fast track of becoming the next joaquin phoenix.

now i understand it can be hard to get a measure of how exactly i feel about robert pattinson, so i decided to dr seuss it for you internet. here goes:

'i hate rob patt on a plane, i hate rob patt on a train. i hate rob patt here and there, i hate rob patt everywhere. throw your rob patt against the wall, kick your rob patt while it crawls. these thoughts i think i must, but wrong i know i trust myself to stop to it. but i cant. so ill continue this rant.'

anywho, so is robert pattinson really famous ? well he might think he is famous. but hes not famous. he is synonmous with the word douche, but certainly not famous. thats what makes him douchebag of the day. scratch that, douchebag of the decade.

Purgatory

there he stood, by the water's edge, only the wail of the wind and his thoughts to keep him company. his thoughts of her, for that was all that remained of her.

he could still remember that day as if it were yesterday. their eyes had met across the crowded room. for him, it was love at first sight. he was taken over by the delicacy of her features. her brown eyes brightened up the room. her gentle, timid smile made his heart skip a beat. he felt her silent gaze pierce his heart and touch the very depth of his being. like a phantom, she had flown across and captured his heart.

and now she was gone. and the coldness was her final gift. there was no other tale to tell. every day is a lie. that he is slowly dying, that is not a lie. how does he prepare for the day when every memory is gone ?

days turned to months and months to seasons, yet no respite. every place he sought refuge, brimmed with her memory. he missed her in the changing of the seasons. he missed her at the rise and fall of the sun. in the passing of time itself and he hated himself for it all. for not being able to let go.

they had all lied to him. made empty promises of how the passing of time would ease his pain. rage and grief still lingered. the constant ache of loneliness was ever present. all emotions had faded into nothingness, only to be replaced by a haze.

the night is so still that he forgets to breathe. the dark air gets colder, the howl of the wind growing louder. he wonders if it is too late for him. if change is inevitable. he scowls at the world, thinking of all the lives. the lives that go on while he still drifts in purgatory.

twisted and torn, he walks off into the night with his mind rambling.
he would never forget her, for she still managed to captivate him.
he would never forget her, for he still loved her.

Typecast

Youth In Revolt, another typical micheal cera movie where he wakes up in morning after NOT getting laid, goes through day after day NOT getting laid and the movie ends with him NOT getting laid.

as bad as being typecasted is, there can still be some variation if you happen to be an action hero. you can play a vietnam war vet who kills without prejudice, renegade cop who yells obscenities has he kills all the badies single handedly, a half-man half scorpion creature. heck you even get to play the tooth fairy ! now thats variety.

no such luck for cera. his movie career seems to be a running of groundhog day, except that he is no bill murray. poor bastard.

yes, the last few weeks have been pretty slow.